Cupid's Arrow:A near miss
by Flayme
Summary: A valentine's day Special Fic! ^_^ Written in the same naughty/nutty style of a lot of my other fics. Contains some naughty subjects, so be warned, but it's REALLY funny! Please read and review!!!


Cupid's arrow:A near miss  
Roses are Red, violets are blue, I don't own FF, but I love you all! Thanks for the reviews everyone, It's been a VERY lonely Valentines day sniff (all together now, awwwwwwwww) But this is a special Valentines day fic that I wrote for all my fans, especially Carbuncle, shine on you crazy diamond! ^_^ This is what happens when Cupid has a BIT to much liquor....read on!  
(And if you haven't read my other fics, the * marks mean that's what someone's thinking)  
  
(It's valentines day at garden, but Squall and Rinoa don't seem to be getting too close....Cupid's depressed and he's taken to drink, but while he's pissed out of his tiny little mind he realises Squall and Rinoa)  
Cupid:hic! Oh jeez....someone's still having lurve hic! problems....well, here I go....  
  
(In the hallway, Squall, Rinoa and the other characters are talking)  
Squall:...........  
Rinoa:............  
Selphie:I was SO suprised this morning, someone had sent me 200 roses.....I wonder who they were from.....?  
Irvine:(looks towards Selphie) Ahem....  
Selphie:Was it you Zell?  
(Irvine sweatdrops, like in an Anime cartoon)  
Zell:Oh come on.....I'd NEVER have enough money to buy 200 roses....  
Selphie:I wonder....  
Irvine:(still looks hopeful) .........  
Selphie:Well, It can't have been Squall....  
Irvine:*Come on.....she's GOTTA know it was me....*  
Selphie:I bet it was.....  
Irvine:*yes....yes!!!!*  
Selphie:I bet it was Nida, the garden pilot!  
(Irvine falls over backwards)  
Selphie:What's wrong with Irvine?  
  
(Meanwhile, Cupid is watching what's goin on..)  
Cupid:This is hic! serious...time to make someone's hic day! (fires an arrow, but since he's pissed he misses and Hits Zell)  
Cupid:Oh Shit..hic!  
  
(In the hallway)  
Zell:(looks at Rinoa) *Hubba-hubba....I'M IN LURVE BABY!!!!* Oh babyohbabyohbaby....(starts drooling)  
Irvine:(gets up) What's up with Zell? (waves his hand in front of Zell's eyes) Hellooooo? Earth to Zell???  
Rinoa:Eep....oh god...  
(Zell grabs hold of Rinoa and snogs her)  
Zell:Hellooo baby....come back to my place and I'll teach ya that there's more than ONE WAY TO TANGO! WOOF!  
Riona:EEEEEKKKKK!!!! HE'S LOST IT!!! GET HIM OFF ME!!!  
(Squall and the others pull him off Rinoa and Tie him up with Quistis's whip)  
Zell:UNTIE ME!!! Rinoa, pleeeeeease untie me....I'll make it worth your while...WOOF!!!  
Quistis:This is certainly weird....  
Selphie:And I still don't know who sent me those roses...  
Irvine:*I really love that gal but why oh WHY is she so fuckin STUPID!* (falls over again)  
  
(And, cupid it's over to you)  
(Cupid is asleep)  
Flayme(that's me folks):Eeerrrrr...sorry about this folks, he is pissed ya know..  
(Pokes cupid with a stick)  
Cupid:(rolls over) but I don't wanna go to school mommy....  
Flayme:WAKE UP!!!!  
Cupid:(wakes up) OK....ok I'm up I'm hic up...  
Flayme:Now get on with the fic before I roast ya...  
Cupid:Yes Ma'am! Now where hic! was I....oh yeah..I feel like shit...(fires an arrow and it hits Irvine)   
Flayme:THAT'S better...  
Cupid:Leave me ALONE! (drinks a bottle of whisky)  
Flayme:This is the LAST time I work with a nude flying twat who drinks too much....(disappears in a flash)  
  
(Down in the hallway)  
Irvine:(looks at Quistis and is instantly in love with her) Hello bay-bee....GRRRRRR!!!  
Quistis:*Oh no....not him too* Back off, or I'll whip your ass..  
Irvine:Ooooooo....getting kinky are we? A whip? Deadly, no, Kinky, YES BAY-BEE!!! GRRRRR!!!!  
Squall:This is weird....I know Irvine is always going for the girls, but I didn't think quistis was his type....  
Rinoa:Something's wrong here, Zell's gone nuts and Irvine's acting like Austin Powers..  
(everyone looks at Rinoa)  
Rinoa:Oops, I broke another copyright, didn't I?  
Selphie:Yes, but since there is no Austin powers in this world, I guess you'll be let off...  
Rinoa:Whew....  
Quistis:LOOK YOU, MY SAVE THE QUEEN IS A WEAPON!!!! NOT SOME "KINKY" SEX TOY!!!!!  
Irvine:Come on Bay-bee you KNOW you WANT to.....come back to my place and have a look at my gun collection GRRRRRR BAY-BEE GRRR!!!!!  
Quistis:THAT'S IT!!!!!! (pushes Irvine into a closet and locks the door)  
Selphie:Ooooooo.....independant woman..  
Squall:Don't push it, we've already broken 2 different copyrights you know....  
  
(Back to Cupid)  
Cupid:(has drunk about 100 gallons of liquor by now) Here we hic! go hic! agaaiinnn...hic (fires an arrow and it hits Angelo, Rinoa's dog who is in Rinoa's room)  
  
(In the hallway again)  
(SMASH!!!!)  
Rinoa:What was THAT?  
(Edea and Cid walk down the hallway to see what the noise was, when a horny angelo comes rushing down the hall, and starts humping Cid's leg)  
Edea:What's going on?  
Cid:EWWWWWW!!!! GROSSGROSSGROSSS!!!!! GET IT OFF!!!!  
(rinoa runs down the hallway hearing Angelo's barking, and angelo runs at her and humps her leg)  
Rinoa:YOU SICK LITTLE BASTARD!!! WHAT ARE YOU DOING!!!!  
Angelo:WOOOFFFF!! (drool)  
  
(Back to Cupid again, he's got alcohol poisoning, obviously....)  
Flayme:Well, Cupid's outta here....I'd better end this scenario QUICK   
(clicks her fingers and Irvine and Zell go back to normal)  
Flayme:(gets out a love-bazooka) Bows and Arrows are too Gothic...TIME TO ROCK!!! AND TIME TO ENTER THE 21ST CENTURY!!  
(Fires the love bazooka at Irvine and Selphie, and Squall and Rinoa)  
  
(back to the hallway)  
Zell:Can someone untie me? I can't remember what happened...  
Irvine:(in the closet) Hello? knock knock LET ME OUT!  
Squall:Rinoa....  
Rinoa:Squall..  
Both:I'd just like to say....I love you....  
(They hug each other and walk off and Selphie and Irvine do the same thing)  
Flayme:Well, that's my cue to exit....  
Zell:HELLO? SOMEONE UNTIE ME!! MRS.AUTHOR MA'AM!! ANYONE?? UNTIE ME FOR GODS SAKE!!!!  
  
End!^_^  
  
Zell:UNTIE ME!!!!  
Flayme:(unties zell) I only did that coz you have more wacky inventions to invent...  
Zell:Thanx  
  
THE REAL END!^_^ lol  
  
  
  



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